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kagezanokyoukan

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it's a topic [Sep. 13th, 2007|10:29 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
yes and what a topic it is. It apparently has been 3 months since last update, not much has changed really, kind of a lot on my mind and bad headaches again, but w/e , anyways, Hannah was kind of feeling down the other day, hope she signs on tomorrow so i can see if she's doing any better, anyways, that's enough updateing i need sleep -_-
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trying to post more often [Jun. 25th, 2007|09:30 am]
kagezanokyoukan
[Current Location | somewhere in house]
[mood |tiredextreamly tired]
[music |birds chirping ^_^]

eh, i feel fairly ill, just need to wash up then go to taijiquan class. Eh the last few days i have been having shit for sleep, tomorrow will fix that tho, when i sleep like till noon. I need caffeine. anyways, today ought to sux, but i can get past it. After taijiquan i will get home, and debate what time to go to work. probably catch the 2:30 bus, so I'll get there around 4ish. yesterday made me think quite a bit, some girl randomly IMed me and blah, and to be honest, she's pretty much just like me. And no, i'm not just saying that, and holy shit i can't fucking see straight, anyways i need to copy some shit down fairly quickly shower up and then go to class, so i'll add more later today or this week hopefully
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a post, after about a month or two [Jun. 17th, 2007|12:17 am]
kagezanokyoukan
today , lets sum it up as simple as possible, >... SUCKED ASS, first missed taijiquan cause or retarded door falling again, then went to mall to meet friend, missed her, probably by like a minute, blah it suxed. can't sleep, mind wandering to much. blah so many thoughts so little time. i really need to be in a relationship right now, just, blah going fucking insane quite litterally too, the lack of sleep has triggered my headaches more, which, as some people know, makes me dizzy , blurs my vision / makes me see shit, that and it makes me very very veyr very very snappy, which i don't like being. blah trying to be more of a peaceful person, less, rage thing, riht now i can't fucking think, anyways i will end it here,
good, um.. morning night
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in need of no title [Apr. 21st, 2007|09:50 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
it's fairly funny how fate has to deal you a bad hand. wow, it's depressing and enraging at the same time. Why must it be that everyone is in such a happy relationship. Yet i get stood up on dates? ah, trust issues, got to love them. well i should get used to this shit, and probably just give up on dating and relationships all together. well, i'll add more. maybe
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been a while [Apr. 15th, 2007|07:28 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
eh i have updated this in almost a month, eh i am exhausted, this has been way to long of a week. First on easter i tried to be nice to an ex of mine, and sent her a fucking message saying "happy easter" and i had it flung back in my face. so yea cause of her, and a bunch of other shit i was depressed beyond depressed. realized i guess i still have feelings for two certain people. and that i think i never really did love the first Mel. I still have a lot to think about and it's highly annoying. i'm still a bit depressed and shit. I am more lonely than anything. eh i wish i could have told someone how i really felt, or change the past. eh, this weather isn't helping, i really needed a walk. and i'm tired from both today and yesterday. more so yesterday.
Had karate
walked to shoppingtown
walked around there
went w/ friend to downtown
took bus back to shoppingtown
walked her home
walked from her house to my house.
blah i need to update my site soon. so i will add more tomorrow hopefully tomorrow seems like a day that will probably be a bit eventful
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update, holy hell it's been a while [Mar. 31st, 2007|07:46 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
yea i haven't updated this thing in ages. anyways, i will sum it up in , idk, a small enough passage, um.. bored, depressed, annoyed, a lot of shit is going on and i don't want to deal with it. It's fucking annoying, and i just want it to stop really. but what ever, as if it matters anymore. how would i act now in a relationship anyways? i have already distanced myself from the world enough that it shows quite a bit. well, it would show, if i wasn't smart enough to beable to put an act on to shut everyone the fuck up.. but what ever once again, post a comment, if not go fuck your self
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haven't updated in a while [Mar. 13th, 2007|07:03 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
[Current Location |home]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |nothing yet]

let's see let's see. What's new, nothing really, asked someone out on a date today, finally got word that it probably won't work. Which, is, killing my mood, because right now, i am well, beyond pissed. No other word can describe it, except, i will have to do alot of meditating at least. Oh how much am i pissed. Today was just a steaming pile of shit to begin with. Now ?, oh, worst. Now i think i might just say fuck dating, fuck relationships. To much work to start up and to much work to maintain. So, maybe i don't care if she does say yes, maybe i'll just say.. no. well w/e
Like usual it's not in my hands , I have to let things play out. Which to be honest, i am Fucking sick of but w/e

i'll hopefully add more later
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You are the cause, I am the Effect, Created in hatred A noose for your neck... [Feb. 22nd, 2007|06:56 am]
kagezanokyoukan
yea I'm kinda in that much pain. lol yesterday was fucking awesome tho. Went , played 8 hours of lazer tag. Had my toes kicked in by Steve again. lol. But , one problem. I don't have any money. And am losing faith in ever going out with a certain person. Which, really is kinda depressing. And should really not be. But w/e. I will think this out a bit more after wards. It's warming up for now at least. Blah , I kinda miss everyone. A few people more than others tho. And yet again, i don't want school. I don't want to wake up early. I could tell you what i want. But no. lol. blah, i keep hearing shit about this and that and blah blah blah. It's fucking annoying. I am sick of all the retarded drama. And yet , some people some how thrive upon it like a leech. I can't believe how pathetic i must be. I can't seem to keep a social contact with my ex-s. except Caitlin. But i know it's pathetic, but i kinda miss Melissa. I definitely miss Mel. And who am i kidding? no one will read this. I try to help people with their problems. and yet, no one helps me when i am in dire need. i wonder why that is? Is there something about me people don't trust? well, yet another thing I'll meditate on afterwards. Blak life really isn't worth all this. some times i just feel like breaking down. But, what help would that do? Why do i always seem to fall for the wrong people. Why do i get so emotionally attached so fucking quick? It's like, a flaw. The one thing that will bring me to my demise. It's depressing. Knowing that, Love , may not even be worth it now. I just can't stand this crap anymore. but w/e. I'll deal with it some how.
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blak [Feb. 14th, 2007|05:54 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
today , VALENTINES DAY, Suxz major. It's such a drag. i will not be upset when it is over. We did get a snowday today tho. that is always good. Hopefully i get everything fully planed out, and hopefully see molly, and blah blah blah blah shut the fuck UP!!!. I am going so insane, stuck in house with family all day... Not good, i don't school tomorrow tho. And i want things to work out for once. Blah, i need to do shit really quick. so i'll end here, i'll add more tomorrow
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outta options [Feb. 2nd, 2007|07:02 pm]
kagezanokyoukan
*sigh* i been thinking lately, i might ask someone out, but are they taken, i'm not sure. I been to lazy to react and way to depressed to think straight. So i will do that tonight, it's called caffeine rush. Not to pleasant to have this late at night, well i got something to take care of. i'll deff. add more tomorrow
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